MY GENDER IS KITTENS

Dear red lipstick,

It’s been so long. The last time I wore you, any shade of you, I must have been in high school. In fact, I think I had brown hair then too. I remember how badass and hot you made me feel. That was when I was starting to identify (loosely, secretly) as a queer femme girl.

And then I kind of broke up with makeup in general. Part of it was because makeup irritates my eyes, and part of it was me grasping for a kind of masculinity I could never access, and now no longer have any desire to strive for. You were the last shade of lipstick I remember wearing before that break.

I’m glad you’re back in my life now. I was still afraid, even as I uncapped you. Recently I had only ventured to pinks that are only shades off from the natural color of my lips. Until today. I’m glad you’re here. You make me pout more, look at myself more. I feel an echo of the fierceness and badassery you brought me when I was younger, but it’s different this time because I know myself so much more. It’s even better.

So thanks.

Rai